Knowing me, knowing you: On the troubles of not knowing who you are and how to relate to others - in general and in people with borderline personality disorder specifically

Abstract

People diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) continuously struggle with knowing who they are and maintaining relationships. Fortunately, psychotherapies for BPD have proven effective. However, not everyone benefits from treatment with particular challenges remaining in social relations and finding meaning in life. Therefore, it is important to understand how we can better support people with BPD.We know that identity disturbances relate to interpersonal difficulties but we do not really understand how. Therefore, we investigated how interactions with others are influenced by how people see themselves, in the general population and in people diagnosed with BPD. To this end, we studied brain activation and the role of childhood trauma and low self-esteem. In addition, we investigated whether self-views can be strengthened using positive memories.We found that the way people respond to critiques and compliments relates to how positive or negative they see themselves. Moreover, vivid positive memories can benefit mood and self-esteem. However, people with BPD seem to not sufficiently distance themselves from critiques nor engage in positive memories and compliments. Finding the right balance between distance from critiques and engagement with a positive self-image may break the cycle of negative self-knowledge and contribute to better social interactions.